I was always taught, treat others with respect. Seems simple. But, not everyone practices it. We live in a shallow society. Wherever you live. It’s easy for people to look at someone and not think twice about making a comment on how they appear. I witnessed this just recently. Someone made a rude remark about someone’s professional appearance. I had one of three options. Stay quiet, laugh, or say something. Too many times, people opt for the first two choices because they are the most convenient or the most appropriate for the situation. I couldn’t. I told the person that we don’t know that person’s backstory. Maybe they have financial difficulties, have a family to care for, or have two jobs. Not everyone may have the means to look ‘socially acceptable.’ Whatever that means. Not every person is able to afford a tailored suit or feels comfortable wearing makeup and heels. How we perceive others, to an extent, reflects who were are.
Appearance is like food, we eat it up. You pass a stranger, you may get catcalled. You may hear someone tell you that you are handsome or beautiful. We don’t hear as often, you are smart, funny, humble, or authentic. We are told the first liners of dating apps which are largely based on appearance. A lot of how we see ourselves comes from self-talk. If people constantly say we are attractive, well, it must be true. If people constantly point out our imperfections, well, we amplify it, imprint it, and point out those imperfections the next time we look in the mirror. People can be so shallow, they might as well be pools.
So, what do we do? We dive. We dive into a pool of shallow people and keep our heads above water, never circumbing to their practices. When you look at someone, you don’t know what is going on in their lives, so, don’t drown them. Similarly, make sure you stay afloat. I don’t have the solution for improving self-talk and self-image. But what I can say is that it takes courage. No one is perfect. It may seem that way and things like social media may portray that to you, but nothing is entirely what it seems. So, eliminate the #goals and create your own. Be your own person. Learn to swim.